As the year comes to a close, many are happy to see it go. It seems that a lot of people have experienced a whole lot of loss, sorrow, disappointment, and depression – both as a collective society and also in their own personal lives. Many conversations and social media posts are ready to put 2016 in the past, characterizing it as the horrible, no good, very bad year.

But there are a couple of fundamental problems with this: It’s not entirely true, and thinking this way is not healthy. Here’s why:

  • It’s not true. As much negativity as 2016 may have brought, there were good moments. Yup, there were. Remember that time this summer? What about that hilarious dinner? And then that time he surprised you and you were so happy? Things like these happened. Along with the bad things, but they did happen. If you are having a hard time recalling, scroll through the photos on your phone — surely you captured some positive moments. Completely ignoring the good is simply not an accurate way of viewing the past year.
  • Thinking this way is not healthy. Looking at 2016 as a terrible year in its entirety reinforces a cognitive distortion that gets us in trouble, particularly for those who suffer from depression or anxiety. It’s called “All or Nothing” thinking. It also goes by “Black & White” thinking. This way of looking at things – “it’s all bad” or “it’s all great” – is an easy trap to fall into. And we all do it occassionally. When we put people and experiences that are complex or overwhelming into categories, they somehow seem easier to deal with. But really, is life that simple? Nope. And what happens when we apply this perspective all the time? We may find ourselves struggling with depression or anxiety. And what if we apply this to, say, ourselves? Well, then we are either perfect or a failure. This is where issues like self-esteem, perfectionism, and self-imposed stress find an easy way into our psyches. So you see, this skewed way of considering people or situations is not really helpful, and in fact it can be harmful.

As much as you’d like to throw your 2016 calendar in the fireplace, I’d like to encourage you to have a more fair and balanced view. I’m proposing that you consider five positive things that happened this year for you. It could be achievements, moments of laughter, opportunities taken, or connections made. It could be very personal or global. List them. Think on them. Post about them. Chat about them at the New Year’s Eve shindig. Appreciate them. Accept that the human condition is made up of pain and pleasure. As messy as that is, it’s true. And that is okay.

If you (or someone you care about) are having a hard time moving beyond the difficulties of this past year, remember therapy can help.

 

<Photo Credit: Eric Rothermel via Unsplash>