In elementary school, the story told of Thanksgiving involved pilgrims and Native Americans celebrating and being thankful for the fall harvest bounty. I don’t know much about the historical facts and significance, but as a therapist, I do know that this idea of being thankful or grateful is beneficial beyond just one day a year – and extends way beyond turkey and stuffing. Yet for many, thinking about what they are grateful for on a regular basis, does not come naturally. If you are struggling with issues like anxiety and depression, negative thinking can be your automatic outlook. It could come in the form of worrying about what might happen, or overthinking about what happened in the past. Research has shown that when people take the time to think about things for which they are grateful, it can help make healthy shifts in their negative perspectives.

Does it seem like your mind tends to want to focus on the negative? If so, you’ve probably been thinking this way for some time and so, changing your outlook will take some effort and a gratitude practice is a great way to start.

What is a Gratitude Practice?

In a nutshell, the approach is to take a moment each day to recognize some things, events, people, or concepts that you realize are beneficial or positive in your life, and for which you can feel appreciative.  When I work with adolescents and adults in my therapy practice, I encourage them to come up with three examples every day for their gratitude practice. Some important things to remember are:

  • Nothing is too small. Feeling thankful for that big promotion? Or that 100% on your bio test? Nice. But that might not happen every day. So drill down and acknowledge some of the simple things in your life: catching up with a friend, a co-worker doing you a favor, hysterical new episode of your favorite show, the fact that humans invented pizza, your car started this morning. Stuff you may take for granted, but let’s face it, this stuff isn’t guaranteed.
  • Write it down. When you first start a gratitude practice, write down your examples each day. The act of putting thoughts in writing makes a stronger impression on the brain than just thinking of it. Pen and paper is ideal. Notes on your phone or computer are the next best thing. Eventually, going through it mentally may be just enough to do the trick.
  • Make it easy to do. This should not take a lot of time out of your day, but it’s important, so set aside some time for it. Maybe place a pad and pen bedside and jot your thoughts down before you go to bed. Or maybe it’s something you do at the kitchen table with your morning coffee, reflecting on the previous day. Everyone is different and it’s a matter of setting yourself up to make it work for you.
  • It’s a PRACTICE. The very first definition of the word “practice” that Merriam-Webster dictionary offers up is “to do something again and again in order to become better at it.” This suggests that gratitude is a process that grows and evolves. Maybe in the beginning you try it one way and you’re having a hard time with it. So switch it up and figure out what works for you. Practice also implies effort. There may be days it’s hard to think of good things that have happened, or maybe you’re just tired. Try – even if you can only write down one thing that day instead of three. Good effort. Finally, practice means you are not expected to master it – essentially, imperfection. Okay, so you skipped it for a day or maybe even a week. Everything is not ruined. (See? There you go with that negative thinking.) You just pick up and start it back up again. Keep moving forward. Forward is the direction you are striving for.

If you tend to be wired to look out for what could go wrong or what hasn’t worked out right, a gratitude practice gets you to start becoming aware of what’s okay in your life or what might actually be pretty good. For many people I work with, they are pleasantly surprised to discover how they begin to tune into finding positive things that come up in the day. It becomes something they look forward to. This strategy, combined with other techniques in counseling, can be very effective in managing issues like anxiety and depression. So take a moment right now: what’s something you feel grateful for today?

 

<Photo Credit: Green Chameleon via Unsplash>