Many people come into my office with anxiety, stress, or depression about a big change in their lives. Often, the change can be a negative one like a relationship loss, a medical diagnosis, or the death of a loved one. But sometimes, the change can be a good one like going off to college, having a new baby, or taking on a new job opportunity. These kinds of life changes can feel like the Earth is shifting under foot and transforming the world as you know it. Thrusting you out of your comfort zone. Life-shifts require mind-shifts — and therapy can be a great place to sort through feelings, adjust your perspective, and learn some really effective ways to cope. In this series of blog posts, I will address some of these big transitions and offer “life-shift tips” to help manage different situations.

Moving.

Think about it — when a person moves, they are picking up and relocating where they sleep, eat, love, and live. When it is a well-planned, desired move, there is still the stress of packing, leaving behind what you know, finding a new place, settling in and getting your bearings. If it is a move that is not a happy choice, there can be an added layer of anxiety and despair. How can you manage the overwhelming emotions of moving? Here are six life-shift tips for moving:

  • Feel your feelings of loss – Moving to a new place means you’re saying goodbye to an old one. Give yourself some space to feel sad about what you are leaving behind. It’s normal to experience some grief and tears, so be gentle with yourself and your moods. However, if it feels like your sadness is bigger than you can handle, definitely reach out for help.
  • Whistle while you work – The mechanics of moving — sorting through stuff, packing and unpacking – can be a chore and feel very daunting. Try to make it more doable by breaking it down into smaller tasks, taking breaks, asking friends and family for help, playing your favorite music, and rewarding yourself for the hard work you’ve done.
  • Bring memories with you – Make a photo album with pictures taken at the place you are leaving or take along some mementos. It’s very helpful to bring some meaningful things (transitional objects) from your old place to your new place to bridge the transition.
  • Remind yourself of the positives – Make a list of all the good things about your new place and type it into the notes app of your phone. Refer to it and try to add to it when you start feeling anxious or blue.
  • Seek out creature comforts – Where will you be going to get your haircut now? What about your workouts? Even before you physically move, start to do some research and set things up in your new location so that when you arrive you will have security in knowing where to go to keep things feeling somewhat normal and comfortable. And if you are in therapy, make sure there is continuity in your care by finding a therapist who can serve you in your new location.
  • Stay connected – Even though there may now be some physical distance between you and friends or family, it doesn’t mean all is lost. Those relationships just may show up a little differently now. Nourish them by making an effort to reach out. Call, text, Facetime, and invite them to visit you in your new location. These relationships don’t have to wither away; you can take an active role in maintaining them.

If you’re struggling with a big change that is taking you beyond your comfort zone, therapy can help. Transitions can be difficult, but it is possible to move through them and successfully land on the other side.

<Photo Credit: Cody Black via Unsplash>