In my therapy practice, I often work with people who are trying to manage the stress of life transitions. The term “life transition” is an umbrella phrase for common changes that come up for people in the course of their lives. As the Greek philosopher Heraclitus said, “The only thing constant is change.” And it is true that change is a natural part of the human experience. Life transitions can include things like:

  • Going to college
  • Starting a career
  • Marriage
  • Becoming a parent
  • Loss — of a loved one, job, relationship, financial stability
  • Moves
  • Career changes
  • Empty nest
  • Midlife
  • Illness/Diagnosis
  • Retirement

As you can see from this list, sometimes changes are positive and sometimes negative. Sometimes changes are planned and sometimes they’re unexpected. Life transitions all involve stress — even the positive ones — as they require a person to recalibrate and adapt to a new situation.

While a life transition can be challenging, here are five tips to help you better navigate one:

  1. Acknowledge the loss of what you are leaving behind: Recognize, as you embark on a change, that you are detaching from that which you’ve known. For instance, as much as you may be looking forward to having a baby, it’s okay to feel conflicted about no longer being just a couple.
  2. Summon up self-compassion – Be kind to yourself about managing change and recognize that there is no perfect way to handle it. For example, your first year at college, living on your own, will have its share of mishaps — misjudging the time it will take to complete an assignment, destroying a dry clean-only shirt in the washing machine, or running out of dining dollars. Understand that it’s a learning process and you are doing just that — learning.
  3. Tolerate the discomfort – Stepping into something new can feel very uncomfortable. A move to a new town, even if it’s welcome, can feel strange. Learning the lay of the land and meeting new people can be taxing on you. However, by pushing through it, you’ll eventually feel more comfortable. Hang in there.
  4. Prioritize self-care – When embarking on something like starting a new job, your drive to prove yourself and succeed may take a toll. Listen to what your body or spirit is lacking and attend to your own personal needs. That could look like nourishing yourself with healthy food, keeping up a physical activity routine, making time to connect with friends, or finding quiet time for yourself.
  5. Remind yourself of past successful transitions – If you are experiencing a loss in your life, think back and identify times you have weathered a big change. You’ve done it before — what helped you through it? Reconnecting to a passion? Turning to friends and family family for support? Your spirituality? Determine how you can apply what has worked in the past to your current situation.

While many people can manage a life transition on their own, many also seek therapy to help get them through. And that’s okay. Seeking help from a therapist doesn’t mean there is something “wrong” with you. Therapy provides a safe, supportive space to talk about your feelings around the change your experiencing. By working with a therapist, you can gain new perspective about your situation, and find effective tools to adapt in a healthy way.

 

<Photo Credit: Gina Della Penna>