Procrastination: an avoidance of doing a task that needs to be accomplished. Sound familiar? We all procrastinate sometimes. It’s easy to blame it on “laziness.” But when you go back and read the definition, it’s hard not to question the logic of why someone would avoid doing something they know needs to be done?
Often, the answer can be found rooted in anxiety. Usually, a person will avoid doing a task because there is an aspect of it that is anxiety-provoking. The anxiety can look like:
- Fear of not knowing how to or not being able to accomplish the task
- Fear of the task not turning out “perfectly”
- Fear of what happens next after it gets accomplished
Even though one knows that putting a task off and not dealing with it will probably cause more trouble, the temporary relief of not addressing it immediately feels more appealing.
And yet, in reality, there is that constant stress of knowing that the task is lurking in the background waiting to be addressed.
Oh, yes – and the shame. Beating one’s self up about not getting it done. Or hearing it from others. Many think the chiding is motivating, but often it is not. If you are already feeling doubt and fear about accomplishing the task, being hard yourself or being berated by others is just not going to be inspiring.
And finally, avoiding in itself simply strengthens anxiety. So, the more you put off the task, the greater the anxiety will grow.
If you find procrastination a persistent behavior in yourself or someone you care about, and it seems to really get in the way, here are three tips to help with procrastination:
- Call it what it is. Instead of referring to it as procrastination, call it anxiety. Doesn’t that already feel better? By removing the shame and blame of “procrastination,” you are better equipped to compassionately examine the anxiety at the root of the behavior. Trust me on this.
- Identify the specific fear and address it. Really drill down and figure out what you are feeling anxious about. For example:
- Is it a fear that you won’t be able to do it? Identify resources you can tap into for help if you really do need it. If you have a hard time seeking out help in general, this is something important to address overall.
- Is it that you are worried about it not turning out perfectly? The task probably just needs to get done and any perfectionistic pressures you are feeling are likely self-imposed. If perfectionism is an ongoing problem for you, it may be something you should look into learning how to manage.
- Are you worried about something beyond the task? Like maybe you need to do tonight’s math homework, but your fear of the test next week is stopping you in your tracks. Focus on the here and now. If you have a tendency to fast-forward your worries or magnify things beyond what they really are, it would be helpful for you to get a handle on this type of thinking.
- Inch your way to accomplishment. Anything you do towards accomplishing the task is valid and worthy. For instance, if you are procrastinating about cleaning out a closet, take out a trash bag and hang it on the doorknob of the closet. Walk away, if you like, and do something else. Maybe later on, open the closet and take a look at one shelf and find three things you can throw away in the trash bag. See how you feel. You might be feeling good about it and will want to continue. Or that might be enough for now. That’s okay. Commit to making some progress every day. You see where I’m going with this? Anything you are doing in an effort to tackle the task should be acknowledged as a step in the right direction. So, put any shame or self-criticism in the trash bag too.
Procrastination, anxiety, perfectionism, and unhelpful thinking are all issues that can be successfully addressed in the therapy room. If you are tired of dealing with these types of struggles and are having a hard time managing them on your own, I encourage you to look into working with a therapist. Don’t let it be another thing you put off!
<Photo credit: Steinar Engeland via Unsplash>